


The Whole Truth

by miss_aligned



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mass Effect 3, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6788236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aligned/pseuds/miss_aligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard has chosen her team for the next mission, but Kaidan has something to say about it. Not many topics lead to fights between the two of them, but this one touches a sore spot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Whole Truth

“No,” came Shepard’s answer. Her voice was beginning to have an edge to it that Kaidan probably wasn’t used to hearing. Not directed at him, anyway. “I’m taking James and Liara for this mission. I’ve made my decision.”

Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest, locking the woman with a piercing stare. It wasn’t one meant to intimidate, she knew. That sort of tactic simply wasn’t his style. If she guessed right, he was looking for some clue in her body language as to why she’d purposely choose to leave him behind this time around.

Shepard really disliked fighting with him. It was clear to each of them that they were only in this argument because of a strange mix of love, protectiveness, and dangerous curiosity. She closed the distance between them and placed a hand on his cheek. He didn’t budge, but he couldn’t seem to stop the gentle sigh in reaction to her touch. “I can’t let you have all the fun, now can I?” Her voice was softer now, subtly pleading for his trust.

“It’s not about that and you know it,” came his quiet reply. She recognized that he was getting irritated, but he certainly didn’t allow it to penetrate his voice. He was calm and continued watching her closely, as though he knew that there was some other reason she was being so obstinate on the subject. Curse his intuition.

“I have no intention of dragging you to the headquarters of the terrorist organization that you’ve been fighting for years. I can handle this.” She swiped her thumb across the stubble on his cheek and in response he reached up to take her hand in his own.

“What better way for me to fight them now than to bring the battle to their home turf? It’s the ultimate insult.” He’d switched tactics, she realized. He was attempting to lull her into agreeing using his damnable charm. For a moment, she was afraid that it was going to work.

“I’ll make it up to you somehow.” A smirk appeared on Kaidan’s lips at those words. “I’d really like to handle this my way.” His expression changed just as suddenly, a frown sweeping in where the smile had disappeared.

“I’d like to know why you’re so adamant on taking James and Liara.” His husky voice carried no small hint of dissatisfaction.

“I have no doubt that you have all the biotics and guns a girl could ever need,” Shepard responded, trying to lighten the mood with a joke and a gentle squeeze of his arm. When his frown refused to budge, she sighed and took a step back, turning away. She stared at the model ships adorning her room for a moment while she contemplated how best to explain her thought process.

“There’s nothing to hide.” His words came out as a statement, but Shepard recognized it as something more akin to a question or accusation. Shock flashed in her eyes for a split second and he abruptly stopped talking. Whatever he was going to say after that quickly died on his lips.

“I don’t know what we’re going to find there, Kaidan. It could be the Cerberus master plan of how to take over the galaxy. It could be records of all the death and destruction and pain they’ve caused over the years. It could be vids of them hauling my cold carcass into an operating room to begin rebuilding. I don’t want you to have to see that. Hell, I don’t want to have to see it.” Shepard ran her hands quickly through her hair in frustration.

“Is it so bad to want to fully understand? I’m a little torn here, Shepard. I want to thank Cerberus for bringing you back, but I also want to know the circumstances around it. Doesn’t it seem strange that they resurrect an enemy?”

He had a point. Damn, him. She’d thought about it countless times herself, but she still hadn’t quite figured that one out.

“Listen, I chose Liara because…” Shepard trailed off. Finding the words was proving difficult. No matter how she phrased it in her head, it sounded terrible. “I need her to see it. I want her to recognize where she placed me. She was the one who handed my body over, not knowing what was going to happen. I want her to see with her own eyes what I went through and the situation I was in when I woke up. It was the lesser of two evils, sure, but I need her to understand that if she finds herself in that sort of dilemma again, letting that corpse burn up in a planet’s atmosphere might be a more merciful option.”

Kaidan’s jaw went slack. He looked at her with an expression that hinted at depths of surprise, pain, and sympathy simultaneously. She flinched a little at the sight, knowing that she’d said too much and not enough all at the same time. She couldn’t expect him to understand. “And James?” His voice sounded strangely hoarse suddenly, as though he was struggling to form the words.

“Well, if something happens to me, I know James won’t hesitate to get Liara and himself out safely. No matter how hard she fights.” She chuckled, knowing how even if it was relatively rare, the asari’s emotions could get the best of her.

“You don’t think I could do that?” His question was sincere and, thankfully, not critical.

Shepard sighed heavily, placing her hands on her hips and staring with purpose at that wall of models. She couldn’t bear to look at him if she was going to confess it all. “Kaidan, I may not know what records and intel we might find at Cerberus headquarters, but I know that Kai Leng will be there. I watched him take one of my closest friends right in front of my face and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. If I saw the same thing happen to you…” Her gaze shifted to him as words failed her, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

She barely had a chance to gather her thoughts again before strong arms circled tightly around her and a kiss was planted atop her head. “And what am I supposed to do if that happens to you?”

“Well…” Shepard paused, blinking the tears back and steadying her voice. “Then you don’t have to watch me die a second time.”

She felt him tense. She immediately regretted saying it in such a harsh manner, but he kept asking. She had no intention of budging on this issue. He needed to understand that, even if it sounded cruel. The warmth of his embrace ended abruptly when he released her and took a step back. He didn’t say anything, but she could see the horror in his gaze. He masked it quickly by rubbing his eyes with his fingers and thumb.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I always want you to be by my side, but I can’t risk it this time, Kaidan.”

“Major,” he answered, straightening his back and crossing his arms over his chest once more.

“What?” Shepard was genuinely shocked and horrified that he’d uttered the word. She understood instantly what he meant. When he said nothing further, her jaw tightened and her heart dropped. Of course she would end up with the only person in the galaxy even more stubborn than she herself was.

“Fine. Suit up, Major. Meet us in the shuttle bay in ten.”


End file.
